Top 30 Artists of 2011:         2          Lady Gaga    

Total Points –             318

Charted Songs:

3          The Edge Of Glory – Lady Gaga        98 points

22        Hair – Lady Gaga        79 points

33        Judas – Lady Gaga      68 points

51        You And I – Lady Gaga         50 points

78        Born This Way – Lady Gaga   23 points

Last Year’s Rank:     5

Color me shocked that Lady GaGa isn’t number one on my list. She seemed to be everywhere, I mean she convinced Howard Stern that she’s good people. She tried to whore out her album just so that it could sound like it sold a lot of copies when it was basically given out like Halloween candy. Her song “The Edge of Glory” was great and so 90s dance-y that it was perfect. Part of “Hair” sounds like Pat Benitar’s “We Belong” …which is a good thing. I think. Finally, “Judas” actually grew on me a lot.

… I’m in the school that thinks “Born this way” sounds too much like “Express Yourself.” Sure, it’s “Anthemic” (I hate that word. It sounds part of a bug) but it’s okay. The song “S&M” used the word “boudoir” much better.

I think my favorite performances of Lady Gaga came from her Thanksgiving special, which I got to watch a few days later, since I was Black Friday shopping.

Even if she kept talking about how she was Italian the whole time…I get it. You’re an Italian from New York. What, you want to be on Jersey Shore next?

Thanksgiving has come and gone and the season has brought me back to thinking about life. It’s weird, I’m convinced that I found myself during college, but now after, I’m trying to write for a living and it’s gotten me to think harder about my own life and personal choices. I send my resumes out and try my best to build up credibility as an entertainment journalist while waiting. Then I have my personal site and other personal projects that I’m working on.

Then I stopped and thought, “What if none of this existed?”

My mother turned to me the other day and said, “You know Mike, in some alternate world you could have been Michael Yap.” I looked at her a little confused, but she continued, “I mean, I might not have ended up with your father. We might now be here in New York. For a while I maintained a California nursing license because your father and I weren’t sure if we were going to stay in The Bronx.” She continued on saying how we’re lucky and blessed to be here. She’s told me stories of different events and situations that just seem to fall into place before. Like how since she was the second to the youngest she lucked out and got into nursing school with the help of some extra funding from her newly retiring father.

I’m a firm believer in fate and destiny; I mean I also have some Catholic beliefs and personal morals that have guided me, there’s nothing wrong with that. But during the Thanksgiving season, I’ve often asked myself questions about ‘What If?’

What if I was brought up in California?

What if I didn’t finish in Communications or Business? Would I have been a music teacher or a museum curator?

What if I was actually alone?

I have a lot of fears about my life. I’ve talked about how one of my inner fears is to die and have no one show up at my funeral. It’s an odd thing to say, but I’m afraid of being forgotten. Thanksgiving makes people think about what they are grateful for. I thank everyone I’ve known or interacted with because they’ve given me hope that there will at least one person at my funeral.

There’s a part of me that feels like I’m emotionally tearing myself up for nothing. I have someone who loves me and even though we have funny squabbles, Eric gets me. I’m always afraid he thinks that I’m insane; but he reassures me that most of his family is actually insane and I’m just paranoid.

I’m thankful. Especially thankful that my last name isn’t Yap. It doesn’t seem to fit my personality. Haha, instead of Paz, I’d be Pay.