Personally, I’ve seen the images of writers, radio people, and podcasters and was taken aback. Maybe it’s true. Maybe a lot of these people are the bastard ugly children of successful television and film stars. Even the people on YouTube have good looks and usually only the good looking (or just insanely funny) YouTube videos become the most popular.

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I’ve seen pictures of several writers on the back of their book (while wandering through Barnes & Noble, mind you) and thought: maybe the ugly ones write. I mean look at Stephen King: great writer, kinda ugly. Then again, one of my favorite writers, Augusten Burroughs, is good looking. Well, was… I’m not that into 40-somethings. I’ve wandered his website and saw pictures of him in the 90s with his drug sheik.

I’ve mused before about a year ago about being self conscious about my neck, but I don’t consider myself ugly. With my low self esteem, let me at least think that I’m good looking. I often think in defeatist mentality, but that doesn’t make me ugly either. Sometimes, I practice taking that stereotypical black and white author photo. I laugh thinking that a) I would end up writing a how to book or b) I wouldn’t write a book. Granted, I still need a new headshot-esque picture. I have to go call Eric and hire him as my photographer. Maybe I could pay him in Applebees and Hot Wings.

Does that mean I picked the wrong outlet? Granted maybe I’m looking at extremes. I mean look at Ryan Seacrest. If someone that weird looking can succeed, I guess anyone can.

Up's Logo. ©Pixar

I don’t get out often. I have some rewards program where I can watch movies free on Tuesdays, but I haven’t gotten the opportunity to use it. Last night I had a teleconference, and usually during the Spring/Fall I’m covering Dancing with the Stars. Anywho, I finally got out of the house to watch Up in 3D. There’s that mysterious charm that Up has that continues the Pixar legacy. A lot of recent Disney movies don’t have that charm anymore (probably Enchanted was the last one that had that charm). I had mostly praise for the movie after getting out. I felt invigorated and moved; something a movie hasn’t done in a while.

One thing that I love is that Up gives you the whole premise in the first fifteen minutes. After watching Key Largo (Oh Boogie and Bacall), I noticed that a lot of old movies will give you text to read and then jump right into the storyline. Up goes the other route and gives a vignette of Carl’s life all the way up until present. His life is like many: sometimes you can’t catch a break... or when it rains, it pours.

(You know the drill, click continue reading, well unless you're all RSS friendly)

Visually, the movie was stunning. I thought that the blue-ness of sky was going to be a challenge, but the depiction of sky in this movie continues the trend of Pixar films like Wall-E and Finding Nemo (both conquered space and underwater beautifully) The colors are bright and the movie is beautiful in 3D. The biggest thing about the 3D that I loved was that the movie didn’t resort to silly 3D tricks. The movie basically created depth perception, making the viewer feel immersed in the environment.

I thought that all the characters were developed well. I adore Carl and was afraid that he was going to be like Wall-E where he only made grunts and didn’t actually talk, but when he did it showed character and connection. As for Russell, I think I have a soft spot for the little fat Asian kid. Dug and Kevin are also really well fleshed out, especially since they are animals. The one thing I think I grazed over was the fact that the house itself was a character. It’s probably the most important thing about the movie.

I must be desensitized; I didn’t even realize that Up was a PG movie. As a twenty-something, I thought the movie fit both for children and adults. In retrospect, it probably became PG because of the use of guns and the occasional beaten dog. If any parent was worried about the violence level, they shouldn’t be.

The biggest thing that I was surprised about was how well the opening short, Partly Cloudy, matched with Up. As much as I liked both Presto and Lifted, neither continued the themes from Wall-E and Ratatouille. The short paralleled both the evolution of friendship and the beautiful imagery of the sky. Somehow Gus won me over because he reminded me of Eric’s father who makes some occasional avant-garde pieces.

In the end I loved Up, I felt like the pacing went well (maybe a tad bit rushed) and although we never get an explanation as to why Dug doesn’t have a greek letter name (IE Delta), most of the plotline was solved by the end. I guess I’m biased towards things Disney/Pixar, but you can’t argue the high quality level of these things.

My score: 97%

So now, Feedburner should be taking care of my problems with RSS. Maybe I can finally get past that one subscriber and have...dare I say... two?

(Click on that Continue Reading for a picture of Sailor Moon and a dumb story)

I remember days when I ran my little rinky-dinky Tripod website. I didn't even know that Tripod still existed. Doing a quick Google search, I found the not-so original address. I say, "not-so" because I did try to move the site and the "new" address doesn't work anymore. I remember the original website was basically an HTML table, the links on the left and content on the right. Back then the biggest problem that I had was that I sucked at HTML. I also thought that a lot of unnecessary crap was cool. Animated Gifs, MIDI files, long loading photos graced each and every page.

Hello! Apparently my username still works...and I can access it

I just logged in and looked at the mess. Everything isn't in folders, the files are just all out like dirty laundry. It looked like a ten year old made it. Then I looked at the year I placed on the website. 1998. Oh crap. It was when I was eleven. Wow, the internet is a funny thing isn't it?

I'm thankful that I grew up and gained some taste. Granted, I used to have cool designs and stuff (well I thought I did) on Blogger. I turned making a crappy html website, to learning Photoshop and what colors matched each other. Luckily for me, I have a color-chart/thing that my old roommate Alex made for one of his classes. He didn't need/want it afterwards and I decided to take it. It sits in my office and whenever I need to color match, whether it be HTML or scrapbooking, it's behind me.

My how much the internet has changed after eleven years.

I'm now an INTJ (which they call a Strategist). I’ve moved from being Feeling to being a Thinker. Now granted, the break from Thinking vs Feeling is 53/47 (as is Intuitive vs. Sensing, but since that didn’t change, I’m not worrying), but I have this feeling that the move is apparently part of growing up.

Oh no, I’m growing up. I’m getting old.

Somewhere in my head, I’m changing. I’m using my head and not my passions. It’s odd though, I always considered myself a warm, open person so moving to Thinking which uses the words like “Firm” and “Impersonal” makes me feel almost dirty.

Maybe I need a test that takes like 150 questions to further shape the test. Any suggestions?

It’s a little sad. Since Eric lost his job, he’s been in this weird rut that I can’t help with. I don’t really have anything positive left to say; that and I tend to have a degree of indifference to things. (It’s called being slightly narcissistic) The big problem with it is the fact that he’s starting to depress me. I don’t think he’s gone out of the area of my house for the past week. He’s gained bad sleeping hours, he’s too tired and lazy to go outside. Yesterday I went shopping (I bought Animal Crossing for the Wii), the day before I had to go to the bank and run errands and with both cases Eric was a no show. Today I went on my morning walk. I don’t exactly know why Eric was awake (bad sleeping habits), but he didn’t want to go. I will admit that the weather was beautiful, albeit the snow hasn’t fully melted and it was mostly ice when I was walking.

Getting to the point, Eric’s mood is getting me in this weird mood. As a writer, I have the time to sit and type for several websites. I can’t focus because he’s around. I tip-toe around, run errands for him, and cook meals that I don’t normally have to. To make it worse, I haven’t gotten those damn responses from several websites and it’s making me doubt myself. Even with the smart promo work that the SimAnimals Soundtrack is having, I can't even bask in the coolness of having my name on a Wikipedia page. (Link)

I need to go back to morning walks, they help me a lot. With the weather getting better (and groundhogs biting mayors), my mood should be as well. I’m hoping the year of the Ox will help me out as well. I mean if the stars align well, I’m good with that. Eric also has to go home this week because one of his family cars has decided to have their transmission die on them.

Soon everything will iron out for me. I’ll get my weekly updates back on track. I hope…

Thanksgiving has come and gone and the season has brought me back to thinking about life. It’s weird, I’m convinced that I found myself during college, but now after, I’m trying to write for a living and it’s gotten me to think harder about my own life and personal choices. I send my resumes out and try my best to build up credibility as an entertainment journalist while waiting. Then I have my personal site and other personal projects that I’m working on.

Then I stopped and thought, “What if none of this existed?”

My mother turned to me the other day and said, “You know Mike, in some alternate world you could have been Michael Yap.” I looked at her a little confused, but she continued, “I mean, I might not have ended up with your father. We might now be here in New York. For a while I maintained a California nursing license because your father and I weren’t sure if we were going to stay in The Bronx.” She continued on saying how we’re lucky and blessed to be here. She’s told me stories of different events and situations that just seem to fall into place before. Like how since she was the second to the youngest she lucked out and got into nursing school with the help of some extra funding from her newly retiring father.

I’m a firm believer in fate and destiny; I mean I also have some Catholic beliefs and personal morals that have guided me, there’s nothing wrong with that. But during the Thanksgiving season, I’ve often asked myself questions about ‘What If?’

What if I was brought up in California?

What if I didn’t finish in Communications or Business? Would I have been a music teacher or a museum curator?

What if I was actually alone?

I have a lot of fears about my life. I’ve talked about how one of my inner fears is to die and have no one show up at my funeral. It’s an odd thing to say, but I’m afraid of being forgotten. Thanksgiving makes people think about what they are grateful for. I thank everyone I’ve known or interacted with because they’ve given me hope that there will at least one person at my funeral.

There’s a part of me that feels like I’m emotionally tearing myself up for nothing. I have someone who loves me and even though we have funny squabbles, Eric gets me. I’m always afraid he thinks that I’m insane; but he reassures me that most of his family is actually insane and I’m just paranoid.

I’m thankful. Especially thankful that my last name isn’t Yap. It doesn’t seem to fit my personality. Haha, instead of Paz, I’d be Pay.