The Ugly Truth
I have this underlying fear that people think writers are ugly. Probably less ugly than radio people, but still ugly. Why is that? Well, it’s because unlike television writers and radio people have a medium to fall behind, become a mask and display their work first before ever even seeing a face. I’m sure people read TV Squad and don't even think about the person who wrote it.
Personally, I’ve seen the images of writers, radio people, and podcasters and was taken aback. Maybe it’s true. Maybe a lot of these people are the bastard ugly children of successful television and film stars. Even the people on YouTube have good looks and usually only the good looking (or just insanely funny) YouTube videos become the most popular.
...
Quick Review: Disney/Pixar’s Up
Up's Logo. ©Pixar
I don’t get out often. I have some rewards program where I can watch movies free on Tuesdays, but I haven’t gotten the opportunity to use it. Last night I had a teleconference, and usually during the Spring/Fall I’m covering Dancing with the Stars. Anywho, I finally got out of the house to watch Up in 3D. There’s that mysterious charm that Up has that continues the Pixar legacy. A lot of recent Disney movies don’t have that charm anymore (probably Enchanted was the last one that had that charm). I had mostly praise for the movie after getting out. I felt invigorated and moved; something a movie hasn’t done in a while.
One thing that I love is that Up gives you the whole premise in the first fifteen minutes. After watching Key Largo (Oh Boogie and Bacall), I noticed that a lot of old movies will give you text to read and then jump right into the storyline. Up goes the other route and gives a vignette of Carl’s life all the way up until present. His life is like many: sometimes you can’t catch a break... or when it rains, it pours.
(You know the drill, click continue reading, well unless you're all RSS friendly)
The underbelly of websites
Sometimes I have those days where I'm just trying to make sure that I have a properly functioning website. I mean, I do pay for this damn thing. Yes, I understand that there is only one photo album at the moment, the contact page is sparse, and the review table mysteriously disappeared when I updated the design. But, the big thing I finally fixed was the damn RSS feed. Now it actually works up-op. Thanks Feedburner for never telling me that Google ate you.
So now, Feedburner should be taking care of my problems with RSS. Maybe I can finally get past that one subscriber and have...dare I say... two?
(Click on that Continue Reading for a picture of Sailor Moon and a dumb story)
A change in personality
I love taking random personality quizzes to see how accurate they are. One of my personal favorites is the whole Jung/Personality Type quizzes. They traditionally have 16 types based of off four letters (Extraverted/Introverted, Sensing/iNtuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving). I used to pride myself being INFJ (which is the rarest of the 16). I recently took the test again and got this:
I'm now an INTJ (which they call a Strategist). I’ve moved from being Feeling to being a Thinker. Now granted, the break from Thinking vs Feeling is 53/47 (as is Intuitive vs. Sensing, but since that didn’t change, I’m not worrying), but I have this feeling that the move is apparently part of growing up.
Oh no, I’m growing up. I’m getting old.
Somewhere in my head, I’m changing. I’m using my head and not my passions. It’s odd though, I always considered myself a warm, open person so moving to Thinking which uses the words like “Firm” and “Impersonal” makes me feel almost dirty.
Maybe I need a test that takes like 150 questions to further shape the test. Any suggestions?
A Crisis of Conscience
It’s a little sad. Since Eric lost his job, he’s been in this weird rut that I can’t help with. I don’t really have anything positive left to say; that and I tend to have a degree of indifference to things. (It’s called being slightly narcissistic) The big problem with it is the fact that he’s starting to depress me. I don’t think he’s gone out of the area of my house for the past week. He’s gained bad sleeping hours, he’s too tired and lazy to go outside. Yesterday I went shopping (I bought Animal Crossing for the Wii), the day before I had to go to the bank and run errands and with both cases Eric was a no show. Today I went on my morning walk. I don’t exactly know why Eric was awake (bad sleeping habits), but he didn’t want to go. I will admit that the weather was beautiful, albeit the snow hasn’t fully melted and it was mostly ice when I was walking.
Getting to the point, Eric’s mood is getting me in this weird mood. As a writer, I have the time to sit and type for several websites. I can’t focus because he’s around. I tip-toe around, run errands for him, and cook meals that I don’t normally have to. To make it worse, I haven’t gotten those damn responses from several websites and it’s making me doubt myself. Even with the smart promo work that the SimAnimals Soundtrack is having, I can't even bask in the coolness of having my name on a Wikipedia page. (Link)
I need to go back to morning walks, they help me a lot. With the weather getting better (and groundhogs biting mayors), my mood should be as well. I’m hoping the year of the Ox will help me out as well. I mean if the stars align well, I’m good with that. Eric also has to go home this week because one of his family cars has decided to have their transmission die on them.
Soon everything will iron out for me. I’ll get my weekly updates back on track. I hope…
Life in “What If”
Thanksgiving has come and gone and the season has brought me back to thinking about life. It’s weird, I’m convinced that I found myself during college, but now after, I’m trying to write for a living and it’s gotten me to think harder about my own life and personal choices. I send my resumes out and try my best to build up credibility as an entertainment journalist while waiting. Then I have my personal site and other personal projects that I’m working on.
Then I stopped and thought, “What if none of this existed?”
My mother turned to me the other day and said, “You know Mike, in some alternate world you could have been Michael Yap.” I looked at her a little confused, but she continued, “I mean, I might not have ended up with your father. We might now be here in New York. For a while I maintained a California nursing license because your father and I weren’t sure if we were going to stay in The Bronx.” She continued on saying how we’re lucky and blessed to be here. She’s told me stories of different events and situations that just seem to fall into place before. Like how since she was the second to the youngest she lucked out and got into nursing school with the help of some extra funding from her newly retiring father.
I’m a firm believer in fate and destiny; I mean I also have some Catholic beliefs and personal morals that have guided me, there’s nothing wrong with that. But during the Thanksgiving season, I’ve often asked myself questions about ‘What If?’
What if I was brought up in California?
What if I didn’t finish in Communications or Business? Would I have been a music teacher or a museum curator?
What if I was actually alone?
I have a lot of fears about my life. I’ve talked about how one of my inner fears is to die and have no one show up at my funeral. It’s an odd thing to say, but I’m afraid of being forgotten. Thanksgiving makes people think about what they are grateful for. I thank everyone I’ve known or interacted with because they’ve given me hope that there will at least one person at my funeral.
There’s a part of me that feels like I’m emotionally tearing myself up for nothing. I have someone who loves me and even though we have funny squabbles, Eric gets me. I’m always afraid he thinks that I’m insane; but he reassures me that most of his family is actually insane and I’m just paranoid.
I’m thankful. Especially thankful that my last name isn’t Yap. It doesn’t seem to fit my personality. Haha, instead of Paz, I’d be Pay.
My Monthly Musings
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