America’s Got Talent – Winner Announced

There’s a lot of padding for the finale but we’ll trying getting through the bulk of the show without too much of the fluff. We got a lot of flashbacks from the past months. It must almost be a year for some of the contestants that sent out audition videos almost after the last season ended. All of the final six voiced-over how much that it was their dream, but we all know that five acts’ dreams will be crushed.

Flo Rida (with David Garibaldi & His CMYKs) – I was mostly distracted by the bejeweled microphone. Something I’d expect from Christina Aguilera, but maybe less sharp? David was relegated to the background as he painted Flo Rida, it would have been funnier if he turned the painting upside down and it turned into the state of Florida.

One Republic (with William Close) – It was a strong match between William Close and One Republic as the two performed. Unfortunately, William was relegated to the side with his smaller earth harp. I guess One Republic didn’t want to be shadowed by strings and powder.

Frankie J (With Olate Dogs and The Untouchables) – Apparently we don’t have enough time to have dogs and little kids perform with different acts, so instead the two acts got squished into one performance. The Untouchables looked like really good backup dancers and a little bit like showgirls.

Best of the Worst – What? These people were bad, like apple-jaw, chubby Pamela Anderson, and the grandfather of rap who sang “Whatchu Gonna Do.” Then we got Burton to perform. Why? Couldn’t we have gone with one of the better acts? Nick Cannon and E-40 turning it into something better was the only hope.

Tom Cotter’s Roast (ft. Joan Rivers) – I was trying to figure out a comedian finalist would perform, and it turns out that it would have Joan Rivers cutting off Tom Cotter. Oh and any time there’s a Mariah joke, it’s good in my book.

PS 22 (with Joe Castillo) – Sand! Lady GaGa! Cute little YouTube sensations! As much as PS 22 is cool, that must suck even more for Joe to be relegated to the least “celebrity” of the guest performances.

Sixth Place – The Untouchables – This season wasn’t the best for dancers. With the over-hyping of Turf, a lot of the other acts were ignored. I’m happy that The Untouchables made it through, but with Miami All-Stars not succeeding last year. The little girls were almost immediately in tears.

Fifth Place – Joe Castillo – I never thought the sand art would have succeeded. In my head, the art group that I expected to make it further was the Aurora Light Painters, but they bombed their Quarterfinal act. Joe was solid throughout, but I think he should have kept with his “hope” message.

Fourth Place – David Garibaldi & his CMYKs – I was surprised how open America was for voting for artsy acts and David was a great act. I just didn’t think that America had enough support to win. David and friends are truly talented artists.

Best of Nick Cannon – Stripper poles! Squirrel Pee! Really nifty clothes! If Cat Deeley didn’t exist, Nick Cannon would be amazing.

Third Place – William Close – I’ve always thought that William Close was too PBS, but the fact that he managed to not only make it to the finals, but also beat two “art” acts shows that maybe America has more class than I expected. I would watch a whole William Close act because there are so many instruments and visuals.

Second Place – Tom Cotter – Tom Cotter is funny and I hope that the experience he had on this show will give him exposure in the comedy touring field. I expect to see him doing a casino tour soon after this, unless America’s Got Talent has an insane contract that will keep him shackled.

First Place – Olate Dogs – After Ashley and Pudsey won Britain’s Got Talent, I was hoping that an American dog act would pop up and say, “we’re better.” The best part about having a dog act make it in Vegas is as long as the trainers are still alive, the dogs can be interchangeable and no one will notice. As long as a dog is on his hind legs hopping over a triangle, everyone will just smile and note the strong connection between trainer and dog.

In the end, I’m happy that not only did cute dogs win, but a singer didn’t. I was disappointed by the wins from Michael Grimm and Landau Eugene Murphy Jr, because you could find singers on other reality shows. Now without having a comedy show or a strong pet show, Talent is the only outlet for variety acts.

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